Wondering Why??

Holla...

           "Jane kyon woh kisi pe marte hai , Jane kyon woh kisi pe marte hai"

 Recently I have caught myself listening to this song  mostly..I'm with Aamir Khan's words. Actually this time I've not been shot by Cupid's arrow but Eris has thrown her apple of discord at me.. "LOVE" this word has been discussed in my few blogs.. If ya'll have read my blog then you will notice I have talked about love and its goodness.
But why will I praise something which is destroying me and my life gradually. These days I am not finding anything which can comfort me being in love. I always find myself collecting proofs against it and then to be so sure not to fall in love again on the basis of those examples. I got a failure in my love relationship, its been a while that I have left pondering on love relationship, and I think when you say you love someone, its not necessary it has to be for your guy, It can be described fir your friend as well.the important thing is who makes you feel more loved...and for Mr its my friends and specially my bestie.. who I love the most...

There are different kinds of love, when someone says "I Love you" it could mean many different things, Its written in the Bible as well. There are 4 kinds of love I have set in my life according to the Bible.

1. Divine Love - for my Lord Almighty

2. Brotherly Love - I am always good at it for God's grace

3. Family Love - this love is not only for my family but for my friends too

4. Romantic Love - this is not used at its best yet :p

Gimme a hug please

 I have always taken my friend as a part of my family, i keep them very close to my heart, it happened many a times that I have fought for them with my own people, just to protect them. I'm very fond of my friends,I never ever thought that a day will come I will have to prove myself that I always think their good, I can never ever be selfish in this relationship, they are whom I look up to when I am in trouble, they are whom I go to share my problems and cry my heart out though I have seen them making bored face when I talk about my feelings know none of them are interested hearing me, Last night i had a huge argument with my BFF and he has spoken few words which has just slashed my hearts into million pieces, based on some importance and priorities (I'm sorry I wont be able to share more on this with ya'll, please accept my apologise for this),  he was the only one I was dependent, I have never given importance to anyone where his involvement is there, he was always right for me, even if we fight , we used to patch up at the end of the day.... but what happened now?? we have fought and decided not to talk to each other, somehow I am managed to spent an entire day without calling or texting him.. but its like a walk on the the path full of thorns for me,i have never imagined how my life would be without him, its like i am trying to figure out something in the darkness, I am missing my Bestie :'( Please God! make him aware of his mistakes so that he realises he has offended me.. come back my bestie, I dnt need a SORRY... I need a HUG.... craving for the masti we used to do together... miss U my "Massa Wala Bestie"... please come back!!

 

 

Text-War!!

Hello Ladies!!
I'm sorry for I post late these days.. My lappy is damaged so I'm afraid I wont be able to post for few more days..
Last night I & my guy had an argument on importance & priorities, I felt somehow that I am becoming an option for him, which I was wanted him to realise & rectify.. But guess what? "Men will be men" the discussion went on for long but we could not iron out our disagreements, so I felt its better to stop fighting rather than making a mountain outta mole hill, I pretended to feel sleepy, said bye & disconnected, after a while I got a text from him, he wrote a small shayari quote for me..

(we sometime convey with each other through our self made quotes)

 I read it and my fingers & my mind started working on it instantly... I would like to show ya'll that small piece of our thought "text-war" over here... Here I go....

                                                ~ He ~
                                     Auro ke liye jeena, apne liye marjaana...
                            Yuhi baar baar tut ne se behtar khud ko bikhar jaana
                              Maujon se lad jayenge hum.... Tum paar utar jaana
                                                 Yeh toh ab adat si hai..
                          "Woh vaadon se mukar jaana... Raah mein bichar jaana"


                                                 ~ Me ~
                                 Auro ke liye sab jeete hai, kabhi kisi pe maro toh jane...
                Bade daave pyaar ke sab karte hai, kabhi thoda sa hi sahi, pyaar karo, toh jane
                                    Akele na koi kisi se lad paya hai na lad payega,
                 Saath maang ke dekho, mil kar kinare tak pohochne mein mazaa aayega.
                                     Vaade se mukarna kisi ki aadat nahi hoti... 
                                      Ya toh yeh majboori hai ya toh bebasi...
                                 Ek baar puch ke dekho, sab pata chal jayega!!

I think one day will come when we will not have to fight & everything that needs discussion & decision will be discussed & decided ☺

How long will one Compromise??

No greetings, no smileys, no gossips & no discussion... Today I just wanna share my pain with ya'll.. I dunno where to start from.. Everything has become so dark suddenly,everything has become so hazy just like my mobile screen, yes my mobile screen gets hazy as I am writing this blog, cuz tears are just blocking my vision,every time I try to control on it, its building up in an invisible reservoir & not stopping to shed ☹
People find stories everywhere, there are stories before & after death, there are stories behind every smile & in every single drop of tears, there are stories for someone's happiness & there are stories about everyone's pain.my real life has become a sad, very sad story too.. I'm very simple & sober, I was very much fascinated with love, it was like that unknown chapter which I knew I will reveal someday, how & when? I did not know that.. This question used to make me feel curious as well as excited too, I was very happily ready to fall in love,I used to think there is no wrong in being in love cuz there is no wrong happens in love, I was just following the happy ending of every love stories but forgot to remember the real stories of life, of my friends who have faced the pain & taken the plunge to live with it.. A pain called LOVE.
finally I found someone with whom I cud be in love with no string attached! But I just did not realise that its always take two people to build up a relationship, two people who understand each other, who are always supportive to each other. I did not wanted someone who will show me what love is, I wanted someone who will show me how to keep relationship!!
Its been 7 yrs of my relationship in which I feel I am just a participant. I dnt know whether this relationship is based on our affection or on our compromise. There are always situations created in which my option are like "either compromise & be happy or just don't compromise & suffer." I had to choose one, & I had chosen to compromise in every way, but I realised there is no happiness even if I do compromise, I am not satisfied with my relationship cuz it takes me no where, wherever I try to find a solution it always leads me to the darkness & loneliness,
"I Have a Partner!! I Have a Partner!!" I find myself shouting like a fool but no one to responds to it. We think there has to be some big reason when people really fight because of & just walk away.. NO!! There is not BIG reasons always at least not in my case. I ain't expect him to get stars from the sky but I really want him to love me to the moon & back. There are so small small things which come'on, I mean a small boy will also do it if he loves someone.. But why are'nt you DMJ!!! I'm a kind of a person who thinks too much on small small things & cry on it too (I guess, I have a small reservoir fitted into my eyes for this) we love each other equally (as DMJ says) then why its only me who cries, who feels the pain, who keeps her eyes wide open at dawn to dusk, My Eyes!! they work on producing tears whole night!! whenever we fight, I cry whole night & think that how can his conscience allow him to be so normal after hurting someone, how can he be so cool, so careless, these questions always finds only one answer & that is that he does not love me & he cares a damn...
I am broken now,each time he hurts me, my heart breaks into pieces, & now I'm so vulnerable that I can't gather those broken pieces together again... I think if a person has not learn to keep his relationship good in 7 YEARS, what will he try in future.. oh well yeah, that person will succeed in ruining my future for sure but I can't afford to make my world Hell in here on this earth.. I can tolerate the heartbreak now rather than spoiling my mental & health condition which I will face in a broken marriage relationship later, Noooooo, I can't afford to do that baby....

I better QUIT!!

God strengthen me..

 

 

Do it if You Love It !!

Hello Ladies... how r ya"ll ?

I know its been quite a very very long time I have not posted (though i am not a daily blogger).. I dunno how many of you read my blog, i think no one my blog has not came under notice of you people, may be writing a blog ain't my forte but i love to tell things about me and my life, and that ain't need any skill, right??
                         

 I want people to know me through this blog, not as a great blogger but as a Common Indian Girl. May be I dunno how to pen down my feelings but I really want to share my daily dealings in life.. Its not about being famous but its about being one of you, its about sharing my problems with ya'll and solving yours too (I'd be glad if I'll able to do so), you will think that why ain't I go to a counsellor if i really wanna share my problems and feeling stress.. No, that ain't help me.. the counsellor will not Empathize me... he will Sympathize me.. That person ain't listen to me as ME but as a person who will be getting paid for listening to me and trying his best of advises to solve my problem, that person ain't put himself on my shoes but only will change his/her perspective :)

                     I want someone who thinks like me and  feels like me.. I know its hard, its hard to find that one person who exactly feel the same BUT i know if you people are reading my blog.. aaaaaaaand if its 10 people out there who are reading my blog, I might get at least one among them who is just like ME!!!
   I promise I might not touch your wits but i can touch your heart. Recently i was thinking to give up with this blogging thing but at that moment I came across with something which change my mind from giving up, I decided I will stand up and stand high.. I will write and I will keep writing for myself becuz penning my thoughts down gives me an immense feeling of satisfaction.. Every word takes away a small small pieces of that burden which is pressing my heart, when I blog I feel like I share things with SOMEONE and I feel so light (though I know practically its not been shared to a single person even)
   There is a saying "karm kar, phal ki iccha na kar" (Do you duty, without concerning about results).. I will follow this in  my blog life too.. i will blog about my daily situations, article which changes my feelings, people who I love and care about and above all I will write about me.. without thinking and expecting my blog to be read by people.. I will blog....

Yes, I will Blog

Was it till here??

I guess there is always a time when you have to think about all the big & small things in your life... Which relates to other people more than yourself... Among those people few are there for some relation & few exist for some reason..though it takes a yonks to know what is it exactly, sometime we just leave few relationship without giving it the same attention, not because we ignore it but because we are sure that bond is going to be there forever, its like those wild flowers which doesn't need no nourishing, no water & no extra care.. It just grows & blossoms beautifully.
I too have a relationship which is just like this wild flowers which never demanded any attention, never applied any condition,& I just went with the flow being unaware of that fact that someday this relationship will emerged out to be so demanding that I will have to stake my life to save it, I can't, no more... We said that we will keep our friendship with no string attached, we will understand each other & we will tackle all the problem together, we will no comment on our personal life..we will cooperate with all the state of our life..when I will fall you will hold me, when you will cry I will wipe your tears, when you are sad I will be your joker, but I think it was all an illusion, it was all a toy play for you,I could not believe in my ears when you said those harsh words to me & just closed my all the way which leads to you, you said you will be my BFF.. I think you were joking.
I thought you to be my guardian angel, you turned to be a devil of my life... Why?? Why?? We said we will stay BFF but I think this is the time we should drop the curtain to the play.. Where we tried to act our best to be each others support & strength... But I just ask myself only one question time & again.. " Was it till here??? " ☹

My Tears are Missing You

The Dark Silhouette

Kitna bhi chahe, kitna bhi sochen...
Kitni bhi kar le hum koshishey...
Hum laakh chupa le in ansuon ko
Par kabhi toh palke jhapakni padegi.....

Yeh ansu hamare bade kambbkht hai,
Jo ek baar beh jaye toh rukte nahi hai..
Jo bach ke nikal jaye sab ki nazar se,
Toh shayad mana le unhe hum yeh keh kar....

" Ae ansu... na behna.... na behna... kasam hai..."
Keemat teri unki khushiyon se kam hai..

Jab aaye mere samne woh kabhi bhi,
Toh galti se karna na behne ki galti...
Chupa lena khud ko, nazar mein na aana..
Jo dekha unhone toh puchenge humse...
Phir humse banega na koi bahana...

Guzaarish hai itni yeh ehsan kar do,
Hamari yeh koshish ko aasan kar do,
Tumhe apne palko ke peeche chupa ke,
Ek unchahi muskan hothon pe la ke....
Hasenge hum khud aur hasayenge unko...
Hasate hasate rulayenge unko...

Baha jaise hi bund aankhon se unke...,
toh hum bhi ro kar tumhe aazad karenge...
Bahana banane ki hogi na naubat...

Woh sochenge yahi ki unki tarah.............

"Hum bhi shayad ro pade haste haste....

My Prince <3

 

 

I Miss You Dad :(

I miss You Appa (Dad)

I see any dad carrying a new born baby daughter in their arms, I feel even you must have carried me the same way & I Miss You..

I see any baby daughter taking her first step catching her father's finger, I feel even I must have hold your hand to take my first step &  I Miss You...

I see any daughter crying for chocolates and yelling for toys, sulking and denying to talk to their father, I feel even I must have got angry with you and God knows how much you'd have tried to console me & then  I Miss You..

I see any girl catching their mum's hand and shouting over their father not to take them school, I feel even I must have claimed loving mumma more than you at that time & then I Miss You..

I see any daughter going back home from school,carried by their father,keeping their chin on their shoulder,complaining about the new school and teachers... I feel even I must have bitched like this to you & then I Miss You..

I see any daughter carrying their good results, hopping and jumping on their tip-toes, showing it to her father and getting a pat..I feel even I must have made you proud like this & then I Miss You..

I see any daughter upset and sad, whining to their father about the bad days..I feel even I have cried and you have supported me at that moment & then I Miss You..

I see any daughter crying over their failure to their father, I feel even I must have faced such failures and cried to you and you have given me the words of wisdom and strength to face it gain and try..& then I Miss You..



I see any daughter and her father laughing,joking and giggling, I feel even you have beat Jim Carrey in making face just to make me laugh like a drain & then I Miss You..



I see any daughter fighting with their father for their friend, I feel even I have fought with you for stupid reasons and hurt you... but still You loved me for all my mistakes and error & then I Miss you...



I see any daughter arguing with father on right and wrong, I feel even I have irritated you by fighting on nonsense  things and going against you & then I Miss You..



I see any daughter praying for their father's good health, I feel even I have prayed a lot to keep you forever with me & then I Miss You..

when will I see You again

                                
I see any daughter following a funeral of her dearest dad praying so unconsciously, I feel even I have recited the Rosary numerous time just to keep your soul rest in peace & then I Miss You..



I cant see any daughter... but I feel them crying at the corner of their room,calling for their father, complaining God that why He chose their Father,missing all the moments spent, longing to meet them once again the the end of their life in the other world....and then I Miss you..



"This is for you APPA, straight from your Daughter's heart, dedicated to you.... and dedicated to all the fathers of the world...
                I am a princess, not because I have a prince, but because my FATHER is a KING!!

I AM PROUD TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER!!! LOVE YOU TO THE INFINITY!!

My DAD is my HERO

                                   

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo