Kutti, kameeni, haraman, dayawaani, Mother Teresa ki amma!!! These words, these precious words are for no one but just for me, becuz I am the only deserving person among all who always put their butt onto the oven.
Arey yaar! What did I want? Just to wish someone on her birthday & make her feel special, feel good. I have heard about a phrase
"forgive & forget" but I guess some people should strictly go through the meaning of these golden words as they close their heart to others. They cover their ears so that they can't hear what is true (selective hearing ya see). Just to unheard what other people have to say, they shout at the top of their lung so loud if its little more, their lungs would come out to their mouth through their throat *snort*. I will not whine here much & will come straight to the topic for which I have this post here. One of my friend's Ex girl became a friend with me,who I thought would be a friend. But she proved me wrong & appeared to me my friend's Ex ONLY. I knew I have fuel on one hand & fire on the other, still I have kept both of them at their own & separated places nevertheless. Being my friend's well wisher I tried hard to get them
back together, but I failed, the thought of being THE FEVICOL
consider it to be myself becuz I wanted to arrange their pieces of broken heart together occurred in me when I started talking to the girl, then after when I realised that they can never come along however I try,I had
quit of thinking to see both of them in a family picture, they are like two shores of a lake, which will never be together, they are like chalk & cheese.
Since I started talking to this girl, I liked her company, I like the way we used to discuss things, we used to make fun of others & giggle, we used to correct each other & give the right advise, becoming each others fashion consultant,
giving snide comments to each other sometime we started sharing couple of secrets as well, meanwhile I forgot that she had a trick up her sleeves. I forgot that she is my friend's ex & gave her the tag of my girlfriend BUT it was nothing what I thought, it was all her conspiracy to make me fool & take out all the possible information about her ex (my friend)...I always give her that surety that I am not a lying detective bitch (this what exactly she thinks & calls me often) behind that
I-wanna-be-your-friend mask but I always felt that she called me friend whenever she needed me & as her works done, she would changed, throwing nails at me she used to be someone else on the other side. May be I only wanted to go against the grain. I always tried to go beyond my call of duty just to keep a pure friendship with her but she used to get angry & abuse me at every drop of a hat irrespective how close I became to her or may be not, Jezz!! I am not a kind of a person who calls someone a friend in one blink of eyes & call the same person a bitch on the other blink,I don't forget my old friends whenever I get the new one.. No! I always have given equal priorities to all my friends who are close to me (friends who are much more than my so called friends).Yeah, I agree sometime things used to slip out of my tongue which always pulled her back to her past where she'd find herself clinging with her old memories spent with my friend (the guy), I was & I am sorry for that, I really am. For me they were just like a perfect couple & its hard for me to accept that they are not made for each other, so I can just imagine the amount of pain she must have had gone through whenever he is been discussed.. & I feel her.. Becoming her friend was utterly my choice, not someone's conspiracy. Gone were those days when he used to talk about her throughout the day & I used to assure him that I will try my best to get her back in his life,things have changed, he has changed & so are my thoughts. Now I don't attach two of'em in any chapter, I have stopped seeing them as my idol couple.
Few days back, my brain gave me a recall about this girl's birthday, I knew our friendship is over, she had already called me a bitch.. The string was already broken. Not even being a girl attach me with her anymore, but I really like her, I keep my friendship with no string attached no matter whatever they tell me or call me (I am already become a bitch for pouring my heart out for her) Anyway *move my hand dismissively* It was her birthday & being not in touch with her since a very long time & having a very bad closure to our friendship, I thought to give my piece of best wishes to her & I what I got??
A full bucket of insults in return. I know it was supposed to happen but I did ain't like it nevertheless. Wishing her on her birthday was the worst thing I did to myself, like that it was not a good experience to have her bad mouth, on top of that my birthday wish (even if it after a year) had put the final nail on the coffin.
Bas hona kya tha, she blurted it out on me AGHAIN & started swearing like a truck driver. This time I did not waited anymore to be called something which I am not. She said so bad to worst things to me that this time she admittedly crossed her limit, I am not the one who creates problem or falls into one but trust me I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. This time I had to show her that if I am a bitch then it always takes one to know one, & you should really know this
Miss-ungrateful-egoist-stone hearted-insensitive-degraded-hussy!!!!! I will not say I did not say anything bad to her, but I think its never bad to give someone a dose of their own medicine & TRUST me I did not feel good to do that but if I wouldn't say anything, it would be shame for me that I can't fight for myself & let other throw cold water at me.Nah, I ain't that
Invertebrate.
Huuuuuuge< insert a wail here> *arm outstretched* conversation occurred place between us, & there was only war & no peace. I tried my hard not to keep any bitterness for her inside me neither wanted her to keep any ill feeling for me, but its not what the situation demanded, I guess we were destined to be strangers forever or 'ENEMIES'
sounds more suitable.
Sometime its much better to keep few people in the picture frame of our memory & never try to break the glass to see them more clearly, we might effect the picture as well instead. I have realised that you do not deserve good people in your life.Its quite late though.
You don't deserve me & my friendship, I lovingly welcome you in my
"Black List"
Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel.
